NEW YEAR NEW BLOG NEW LINK!
http://walk-with-xa.blogspot.com
AH BYE!

Ah Bye!

2008 is ending and so is this blog.

Looking back, a lot has happened. I don't know if you ever noticed, I see myself changed a lot. By just reading back my blog archives from February till recent, I see drastic change. The first half of the year was certainly a lot happier, at least it seems like it from the archive. I still remember very clearly, even with all the tormenting thoughts, I was a lot happier for some reasons that are for me to know. I use to blog about happy stuff with a lot of colourful pictures. Even when I said I was emo, I can still give you a big fat smile at that time.

Second half of the year was a downfall. Health, grades, relationship, simply everything except friendship, I'm glad to say. "Really?" you may ask. Haha. These, I know for myself. More words flooded the post, mostly emo words. Happy pictures rarely appear anymore. More posts have been written for the sake of letting out and were sent into draft because I don't even want to read it myself for its too painful and emo. I hate to see myself in this shape but gosh! I can't help it. I haven't been this torn apart before but oh wells *shrugs* Life's like that, I guess. Oh I've certainly tried to make things better for myself. It somehow didn't worked out very well. But I'm sure it will when we embrace the new year =)

However, this year end holiday have lightened up my spirits a bit. So I guess it is still a happy ending for the year aite!

With that, I shall leave this emo wreck as it is.
New link will be announced when 2009 arrives =)

Happy New Year and Happy Holidays people.

Hohoho

First week of holidays.

Pictures paint a thousand words so let them do the explaining.
The Queen is back and is damn tired *yawns*

So far, my favorite Christmas Tree

lovely <3oops! heehee!

with love =)
yum yum
pulut kuning with rendang . its sinful XD
simply innovative
White Christmas. I like =)

Alice in Wonderland *sweat*
Hi I'm Alice. Lets have tea wtf
Its YIP MAN not I-P Man!
nice one =)
they somehow managed to turn the mall into almost a forest.

My abusive lala friend
you don't want to know how abusive he is *sigh at my fate*I don't get it. why circus for Christmas deco? eeeek!

and of course, met with The Mate and went to this bungalow to shop.
and ended all sweaty and sticky and hot and lets-get-out-of-here-asap.

A happy woman. or am I? =)

I feel like saying "Lets go watch Bolt!"
But I don't have the strength and courage anymore.
I'm drained. Very drained.
Imagine deflated balloon. Thaaats right. Deflated balloon.

Merry Christmas!

Even When The Whole World Is Offered

Are you there
Don’t turn back
I’m inching towards you
One step at a time
Don’t give anything to me anymore
Now, I will give to you first

Don’t again, don’t again
Love like that anymore
A heart that will not be exchanged
even when the whole world is offered
Even though everything will be forgotten

Little by little, little by little
A love that burned wildly
will be the only thing left in my heart

Don’t remember things that already passed
How much were you suffering alone
I’m so sorry
Don’t think about the things
that hasn’t arrived yet
Just stay at this time
longer and longer

Don’t again, don’t again
Love like that anymore
A heart that will not be exchanged
even when the whole world is offered
Even though everything will be forgotten
little by little, little by little
A love that burned wildly
will be the only thing left in my heart

Don’t again, don’t again
Love like that anymore
A heart that will not be exchanged
even when the whole world is offered
Even though everything will be forgotten
little by little, little by little
A love that burned wildly

will be the only thing left in my heart

Red Bean (Translated)- Lee Bo Ram
East of Eden OST

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken
-Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-------------

I once thought that I am a girl who knows what I want and I always get to decide stuff for myself. Big stuff, small stuff. I decide which high school I want to go. I decide what stream I want to take. I decide which friend I want to make. I decide how much I should spend. I decide who I want to talk to. I decide which uni I want to go to. I decide what I want to major in. I decide what I want to be. I decide who I want to like. I decide what I want to tell my parents. I also always told myself before I make a decision. Alexa Goh, this is your own decision and you cannot blame anybody and cannot regret. You have to go on with whatever odds that come with the decision you made.
I was always happy with my decision I made for myself. I always accepted the odds that came with it and I've gone through them easily.

One thing I cannot decide though. Is my emotion. I cannot decide when to be happy, when to be sad, when to b e angry, when to feel stupid, when to feel like running away, when to feel hyper. Can people actually control that???

Anyways, this time, its a little different. I regret. And for the first time, I'm admitting that I regret. I really do. If time will turn back, I will take the other road, the road not taken. But the fact is, it won't turn back. So I'll have to bear with it.

All the best Alexa Goh. Its something you have to go through yourself because of your own did. And the road taken has made all the difference.

Night world.
Don't sleep with regrets so start holding on to whatever you have now.

xoxo

A Reason to Smile

Summary of a conversation:

"Eh lets go to your house and eat pan mee on Monday"
"Okay" *that's random*
"Don't forget our date ok?" *excited*
"Okay make it 10am" *she must have been starving like hell in camp*
"Bring us eat nice pan mee ok?" *she comes all the way from OUG to eat pan mee alone?*
" (continues babbling about camp) "

Monday morning:
9am- Alarm rang, brushed teeth, yawned, went back to sleep.
9.30am- Woke up with a jerk and "shit! get dress get dress!"
9.55am- "Wait! Let me get dressed first!"
10am- Opened gate, closed gate, walked towards the silver Kelisa, gestured to ask the driver to drive, opened car door, sat in, looked at the driver *why is she not driving yet, I'm starving*

Heard a noise behind. Before turning, thought she brought Jamie or Caryn or both. Turned head saw no one at the back seat. Eyes caught something black-ish with curly hair below the seat *omg there's a human hiding*

That human tilted her head and...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I was totally awake for like 10 minutes, busy yelling and screaming and did I hit Sara?

Anyways, the woman is back!

from New York baybeh~

Yesterday was certainly my day. Except the fact that I was very dreamy and not having enough sleep from the previous sleep over with the sister.

I certainly had fun chatting on my bed =) oh and we did stripping too right? hahahahaha! Eh we're not hamsap. We went all "naked" and spilled the whatever fulanka mood and whatever in betweens and whatever shit there is to tell. And mine was suppose to be scheduled on 1st of January but they somehow made me spill, with the "Sara tell a little, Alexa tell a little (and Rachel laugh)" game. What kinda game is that!! Raaawrr! But its nice to know that I'm not alone and we are all on the same boat... uh.. bed. Haha! But Sara you are lucky =)

Since Rachel's back, so are all the normal rituals. The over ordering of food, the eating a lot, the blaming Sara century... aaaaand...

nonsense nonsense nonsense!

and all of a sudden...

zzzzzzz

i love you guys =)they made my day!

I don't understand

I'm back! =) I realize I don't blog about happy stuff anymore. I should! but sorry to disappoint you, today's another stupid emo sial post. Coz unhappy stuff will all be thrown here, and happy stuff will be remembered. ok? ok!

***

I don't understand.

Today, I really don't understand. But there are a lot of things that I don't understand in life. I don't understand why people wana do their PHd at the age of 50. I don't understand why my voice sound like a man when I recorded it. I don't understand why dogs have four legs and we have two. I don't understand how Andrea can stand having long long finger nails and doesn't have the least intention to cut it. I don't understand how Cecelia Ahern can make the words in her book sound like lines in the movies. I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand. and I don't go look for the answers for these little things.

So this shouldn't be any different.

***

Had breakfast with haraboji Jun today =) He's going back to Korea then off to US so we will miss you haraboji!!He bought us mittens! So thoughtful and cute I like mine! weeeeeee! Have a safe trip back haraboji! and your assignment is still with me >.<

Hahaha!
Cacat cacat cacat!
Chukkikoya chukkikoya!
noooooormally~
nonsense nonsense nonsense!
why are we famous?
because we AAAAR!


hasta la vista! ***

Got my latest geek gadget from PC fair today. There!

The specs are chun-er than the over-priced Sony Cybershot I initially wanted. And the price is a happy price. Got photo editor in the camera itself somemore! Can put cute frames around the pic like some lala pictures somemore!

I swear I'm going to own a SLR someday!

and I forgot to get an external hard disc and a new mouse. raaawr!

***

Here's a tag I stole from Tin to put off some steam off my boiling head. There you go.

Favorites
Favorite season: malaysia season
Favorite color: orange (like duh~)
Favorite time: night time
Favorite food: food
Favorite drink: drink
Favorite ice cream: ice cream
Favorite place: my room
Favorite sport: swimming
Favorite actor: alexa goh
Favorite actress: alexa goh

9 Currents
Current feeling: frustrated
Current drink: water
Current time: 5.43pm
Current show on TV: High School Musical 2
Current mobile used: nokia 5610
Current windows open: msn, facebook, blogger, tin's blog
Current underwear: colourful topshop
Current clothes: sungei wang rm15 tshirt, mng jeans (and i haven change too wtf)
Current thought: I did something brave but stupid

7 Firsts
First nickname: wu da jun~ goh big juinn
First kiss: muacks!
First crush: crush
First best friend: is very pretty and i wonder where on earth is she now
First vehicle I drove: is my loyal kia
First job: teacher
First pet: my sister

7 Lasts
Last drink: water
Last kiss: mirror
Last meal: meal station's porridge
Last website visited: tin's blog
Last movie watched: god!

Last TV Show watched: the world they live in

****************************************

1. My ex is: very my ex
2. Maybe I should: yell at somebody
3. I love: my piano
4. I don’t understand: a lot of things in life especially today
5. I lose: in everything when my counterpart is you (Toh, 2008)
6. People say I’m: smart and sexy (and i still lose in everything when my counterpart is you)
7. Love is: something beautiful but can be painful so be careful
8. Somewhere, someone is: dancing waltz
9. I will always: try and try harder no matter how tired I get
10. Forever is: possible
11. I never want to: fall in love
12. I think the current US President: is hot and sexay
13. When I wake up in the morning: I yawn and go back to sleep so that I can dream of things that won't come true
14. My past was: what made me today (Toh, 2008)
15. I get annoyed when: people say unnecessary things
16. Parties are for: party animals
17. My dog is: fake
18. My cat is: dead coz i hate cats (i don have a cat la haha)
19. Kisses are the best when: you're kissing the right person
20. Tomorrow: I am not going out
21. I really want: to erase some of the memories
22. I have low tolerance for people who: smokes and gives unnecessary comments
23. I would like: to watch gossip girl now

bye bye~